We'd been getting calls from Olin Mills, a photography company, offering to take pictures of my non-existent children. Finally, I'd had enough.
"Hi! This is Olin Mills. We have a special offer on pictures of your children...." (sounds of sobbing from me) "Sir..? Sir?" "I...I'm sorry. It's just that my wife and I want children very much, but I was wounded by a castrater mine in Vietnam." (a pause) "I'm so sorry sir. I didn't mean to...I'm sorry. Goodbye, and good luck." (Click)