Then there is the famous folk song, the snows of Mount Vesuvius (the snows they melt the soonest)

For years I thought it was 'She's so popular' being sung by Kate Bush on the Peter Gabriel track 'Games without Frontiers' (it is actually Jeux sans frontier)

But the killer for me was trying to transcribe 'Matty Groves', when I was convinced for several years that he had not a f**king knife. Then I thought it was maybe a fork and knife, it wasn't until I saw someone actually perform it seriously, I could lip read what the real word was!! I think my version was probably nearer real life, I mean, there you are, stark b****ck naked, under some other blokes' wife, he is waving a dirty great scimitar about and you think, gosh, where did I put that cutlery??

And what about Kenny Rogers' 'Lucille' with 300 children and a crap in the fields?

Liz the Squeak.