The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #1316407
Posted By: Rapparee
04-Nov-04 - 10:13 AM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Now that the Pressydent is once more one of the Elect, I must take off my mask, strip off my costume, pull my sword outa the stone, and reveal to all and sundry the answer to their heartfelt question. Specifically, I must reveal my Secret Identity in answer to your oft-asked question, "Who the hell was that Masked Man who shot holes in my barn, consensually ravished my sister and/or daugher, broke my mixer, stepped on my cat, tripped over my puppy, trampled my garden, and whose horse crapped all over my porch and front walk? And why doesn't he take his horse to vet for treatment of those scours, anyway?"

Well, yeah, that really two questions, but they are oft-asked. Especially the last one.

I will now reveal my secret identity.

I am, in reality, not the shy, retiring, modest, bespectaculed, sunk-chested, round-shouldered, wimpy, tongue-tied, flatulent, hermit of a librarian I have pretended to be.

No. I stand revealed before you now as the Champion of Truth, Justice, Good For All Peoples Everywhere, Mercy, Caring, and All Things Good, Bright, and Beautiful. Yes, I admit it. I am really

(drums and trumpets flourish!)

John Ashcroft, Attorney General of the United State of America.

And my agents are knocking down or on your doors as you read this.