Those lengthening potions and/or things reminds me of my of my old neighbor, Harold. He bought some and he told me that it worked wonderfully. He added eight -- 8! -- inches to his length and four to his girth. Unfortunately, Harold was also five feet tall and only weighed 84 pounds fully clothed, so every time Harold became "interested" in a young lady all the blood rushed to his, ah, privy member. With no blood flow to his brain he'd pass out cold. His social life suffered (several young women suffered delusions of grandeur, thinking that, sans culottes so to speak, they'd caused his swoon and others figgered that they didn't quite live up to their own body image and suffered reversible trauma). Anyway, Harold realized that he was, through his own most grievous fault, destined to remain without what he most desired. He tried monastery, but the monkhood wasn't for him -- it was too close to a cloistered convent, and from his cell under the eaves of the building he could see the nun's unmentionables drying on the line. Anyway, he left the monastic life and drifted away. For a while I understand that he made some money as a sailboat on Lake Ponchatrain, but one glimpse of that nubile Southern womenhood and the boat wouldn't leave the dock. I've lost track of him, but my brother tells me that Harold has finally landed a job as a cell phone tower somewhere "back East."
Given as how spammers ruint Harold's life, I think that they should be jailed.