"..... in fact anything I like really."

This is what comes of too much time spent in the Middle Bar Lynne. Even though it is less smokey now, all those previous years have obviously taken their toll and warped your mind. I believe you were also warned against visiting the Donkey Sanctuary as the resultant overly libidinous dreams have a lasting effect. Look at what a visit to the marine mammal centre did to Seal!

Please calm yourself, remember there are children watching. Think pure thoughts. Imagine you are dousing a large torch in the sea, your hand grasping the hot, hard shaft and thrusting it into the salty, wet depths (perhaps not a good analogy).

I'll get me mac.