To my Secret Santa:

I am alive. That means that if you were bettin' I was dead so you could save a few bucks by weaseling out of this Secret Santa thing, you're shit outta luck.

However, I am very easy to please. About the only gift I can think of that wouldn't be appreciated would be an accordion. And most years I would probably even appreciate the accordion. It's just that I have a surplus of firewood this year due to our little visit from Hurricane Ivan and I'd rather burn it than an accordion.

Last year, I got a rock from Bat Goddess. It's a really cool rock and I love it. It's sitting on the window ledge beside my computer as I type this. It is very quiet and well-behaved.   

If you have any mismatched socks I can use them to wrap pottery to take to art shows.

See? I was serious about the "easy to please" bit.

Bruce

(Who likes all kinds of acoustic music except "chick singers" like Tori Amos, wears extra-large size shirts, hates clothes that have to be ironed, wears baseball caps religiously to keep from getting his bald head sunburned, likes off-the-wall movies, doesn't wear jewelry, will eat anything, plays 6-string steel-string guitar, 12-string steel-string guitar, 6-string nylon-string guitar, Dobro, banjo, and has no preference as far as string brands go.)