You people thoroughly disgust me! People who have been given unfortunate names by their parents (who were possibly intoxicated at the time and thought it was funny) deserve your compassion, not your ridicule.

Take my own name, for instance: Charles Ulysses Farley. At first glance it appears to be a fairly innocuous name, not one that lends itself to ridicule. In fact, my own parents had no idea they had given me anything but a fine upstanding name. Not being the type to use "nicknames", my parents have always called me "Charles" and would be surprised to learn of the difficulties my name has caused me.

It was when I entered the public school system that the problems with my name became apparent. Throughout elementary school, my classmates called me "Charlie" and seemed to have thought "Charlie Farley" to be one of the funniest rhymes ever concocted. But, things got much worse when I started high school and people began to call me "Chuck". Inevitably, someone discovered that my middle initial was "U" and I got hung with the moniker "Chuck U. Farley". Believe me, it's not pleasant to be walking down a school hallway and have someone yell out, "Hey! Chuck U. Farley!" and then to have some other moron chime in with, "Did he say, 'Fuck you, Charlie?'" Not pleasant in the least.