Department of Poetical Licensing
Offices in
Starnbergersee, Hofgarten, and Sweet Thames

Dear Mr. Rapaire,

It has come to our attention that your Poetic License is severely out of date. In order to pull off the whopper you committed in the Mudcat thread commonly known as MOAB (Mother of all BS threads), please hasten to the nearest English teacher and have your credentials renewed.

This will require your participation in a high school level University Interscholastic League (UIL) "Ready Writing" competition, in which you need to produce metaphoric cal imagery, several aphorisms, at least one whiz-bang allegory, and numerous analog statements.

Report back when this is completed, and you may then, and ONLY then, continue with the bad poetry at said MOAB and other locations.

Sincere Regards,

[signed] M. Terwilliger

Morton Terwilliger, Senior Accountant
Department of Poetical Licensing Department,
(and acting Chair, Department of Redundancy Department, until that position is filled. If interested in assuming that position, apply at the address above).


And I have known the eyes already, known them all —
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?