I don't know whether this has been posted before but here is another version
The first day after xmas my true love and I had a fight
So I chopped the pear tree down and burned it just for spite
Then with a single cartridge i shot that blasted partridge
That my true love had gave to me
The second day after xmas I pulled on my rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks of both the turtle doves
The third day after xmas my mother caught the croup
I had to use the 3 french hens to make some chicken soup
The calling birds were a big mistake their language was obscene
And the 5 golden rings were a completely a fake
And they turned my fingers green
The 6th day after xmas the 6 geese wouldn't lay
So I gave the whole dog-gone gaggle to the A.S.P.C.A
On the 7th day after xmas what a mess I found
All 7 of the swimming swans had drowned
On the 8th day after xmas before they could supect
I bundled up the 8 milking maids 9 pipers pipeing
10 ladies dancing 11 lords a leaping 12 drummers drumming
And sent them back collect
I wrote my true love and said we are through love
And said in so many words your xmas gifts were for the silly birds
7 swimming swans,6 honking geese,4 calling birds,3 french hens 2 turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree