"Did you notice? The White House has new security fences around it and guards are posted there 24 hours a day now. Not to keep terrorists out but to keep the government in." Jay Leno

"President Bush is getting worried. He called a Cabinet meeting and only two people showed up. Him and Cheney." Jay Leno

"Even though Colin Powell has resigned, he'll stay around to help with the transition. So now he's kind of a "semi-colon". Jay Leno