Thank you all so, so much for your responses. I've found a lot of caring and wisdom here, so much, in fact, that I need time to digest it all. I intend to PM some of you in the near future, but right now I'm overwhelmed with the work of looking for a job and pulling myself together, and I have to pace myself.

As I see things, I can divide my problems into two big categories: finding a job and healing my spirit. Of course, the latter is the more difficult.

There is something I do that fits in both categories: teaching violin. I love it! I get so much positive energy from my students. I love helping people and making them happy through music. I develop some good friendships with my students, and, in the case of the kids, with their families. Besides all this, I get paid. MMario, earlier in this thread, mentioned the glow I get from music. I get it through teaching music, too.

Re job hunting: Teaching violin is my substitute for temping, being a salesgirl at Christmas, and doing other odd jobs. For a day job, I'm a scientist (Ph.D. in biochemistry, many years of experience in toxicology, regulations, writing, etc.). I live in a Maryland suburb of D.C. While I'm looking for a "real job," I want to teach more and to get some experience freelancing in scientific/medical/technical writing and editing. If anyone can help me with leads on freelance writng, I'd appreciate it greatly. I have some chronic, intermittent health problems (asthma, migraines, etc.), so it is hard for me to keep to a rigid job shcedule, and working at home is attractive. Of course, I like being my own boss and doing things the way I like, too.

I don't have a car and I need to get one. Any leads? How about advice on buying a used car?

Healing my spirit is so difficult and so important. I agree completely with the people who have written to say that happiness is really in my own head; that I need to think positive; and that I need to increase the positive energy inside me. Those who have written to me on this thread are helping tremendously with the positive energy. Thank you, thank you.

I have gotten past the acute phase of my depression and now I'm in the hard work and struggle phase. I know that I will need to face disappointment, depression, anger, and loneliness on the road ahead of me, particularly in the (damn) holiday season. Please continue to write to me, if only now and then. I can't tell you what a big help you are.