Well, Vixen, this is how i got there...don't know if it will help, i hope it does.:0) Everyone learns differently!

I've had a few guitar lessons off and on, when i could afford them; all with different teachers, and all of them started with different things, like one taught me a few chords, another pentatonic scales, another some rythymic styles. In between, i didn't practise nearly as much as i should have...until i started writing my own songs, and needed to accompany myself. Then, i started just messing around with chord changes, just simple ones, until i could do them without thinking. After i had them down, i just used the same process for more complex ones, and then for picking.

I think what did it for me was having the knowledge there, then just running with it with it and working out the best way for me to develop it; and then, of course, practising till i had blisters:0)
I also found it helpful to sing as i was playing because i had to concentrate on my voice, and that helped the auto-pilot kick in with my hands. Maybe you could try this, even if you're not a singer.

I think the important thing is to get the technique down (not necessarily an official technique; one that works for you. Remember, if it sounds good, it probably is!), so you can play without thinking about it, and then let the emotion come. Start with something easy, then work your way up...get the foundations down first:0)

Hope this helps! :0)