So, you think you've been abused? Well, you haven't experienced abuse until you've been in the United State Marine Corps! But come to think of it, I haven't been in any Marines, US or Royal or any. Now, when I was in the SBS, we...no wait I wasn't in either the SBS or the SAS. I was never allowed to have any fun.

Hidden within the posts are clues to my identity. And I will provide you with another: the posts are nothing at all like me. Not at all.

I'm frae the Highlands and tho' I canna play the pipes, I'd have na problem wi' a pipe o' ale, especially if you were paying.

Laddy, yer present will be on the way to ya tomorrow. I'd wanted to put more in it, but I an assured that you will appreciate it as it is.

And that All for now.