I've been rereading this thread and loving it. While it's true that my happiness has to start within me, it also helps to get positive energy from friends on and off the Internet.

I've always had trouble with self esteem and it's very, very hard to have faith in myself. Open Mike wrote on this thread that my Ph.D. says something good about me. At first I dismissed this as nonsense, because intelligence really doesn't have anything to do with hard luck. Then I remembered why I'm proud that I finished graduate school. It was my attitude. I felt weak and incompetent, but I hung tough and kept persevering, in spite of the voices inside my head and coming from my own graduate advisor's mouth telling me that I couldn't do it. Eleven people started grad school in my department at the time I did, but only five made it through to their doctorate. Incidentally, 4 of the 5 were women. Some of the people who dropped out were very intelligent and hard workers, but they didn't have the thick skin or determination or whatever it takes to hang on. We all know that a song can save your mortal soul. All through grad school, my divorce, and other difficult experiences, I've reminded myself , "Keep Your Eyes on the Prize." It helps.

Through my long (2 1/2 years) unemployment, I lost faith and hope. This time, I will try hard to keep these things alive inside me. It won't be easy. There will be setbacks and disappointments, but I will try. It will help me to get some more positive energy and good advice from the Mudcat community.