Thanks Kat, that's a lovely poem. After a night's sleep I feel better but still sad. Kids aren't supposed to die. God's fan club claims that there is a plan and all is in accordance with it. As far as I'm concerned any plan that involves killing kids is not worth the paper it's drawn up on. I told Him/Her that last night.

I have not been very good about thanking you for the web sites. I've been busy with Christymas shopping and working around the house. Plus a certain fiancee, no names, has become addicted to Spider Solitaire and takes up a lot of computer time....

Thanks very much for the web sites. I will explore them and see what I can use to help her refine her English. Her skill varies with her mood, no surprises there. When she is angry or depressed her skill drops but when she is happy she can chatter away like anyone else, almost.

Clairebear, I am touched by what you said. Yes, I have changed over the course of this story. I am seeing a good counselor (and taking the right antidepressant) and I may have the black dog of depression finally leashed. Now I only hope the leash holds.

The other day I described depression to Wakana as walking a huge dog on a leash. Sometimes you can control the dog but more often he drags you where he wants to go. The trick is to teach the dog to respond to verbal commands so you can keep him controled without a lot of pressure on the leash.

By the way, Clairebear, have you and I met? I have a friend named Claire back in Portland, Maine, but you said you hoped to sing sea songs with me but did not say "again" so I'm guessing you are not she.

Kat, you mentioned how nice it must be to have things peaceful. It is... and it isn't. The key to adventure is to do the things you want to do and not have to deal with the fuss of the bad things that happen to you. The reality of adventure is that you have to deal with both. A sane, peaceful life is not what I am looking for right now. I do want a solid foundation in my personal life and I think I have found that. But considerations of how tall the grass is getting in the yard, whether or not the bills have been paid (the phone was cut off last week - bills were sent to the old address), how much gas is in the car, and other little items are not for me.

But I am going to Japan on December 1 to get married so I guess I have some adventure to look forward to. We will tour Wakana's home town and I will get to meet the family. They are concerned about my ability to eat at a low Japanese table. I cannot sit in the Japanese fashion. I hope they won't make too much fuss.

And there is the adventure of landscaping. We have been setting those big heavy pavers around the base of the wall. This involves an even layer of sand, carried in five gallon buckets, then walking the paver into place, shifting it till it fits, and pouring more sand into the cracks. We are looking for a large Japanese lantern to place at the corner by the door.

And I also hope to get involved in the adventure of exercise again. I reinflated the tires on my bicycle (remember that?). It is now mounted on the back of the car and will go with me down to Asan Park where I can ride it around the park. A couple of circuits ought to help out. Wakana calls Asan Park Little Waikiki. It's a lovely open field with a line of coconut palms along the white sand beach. There is a walking/bike trail around the park. It's also the site of the landing by American forces when they retook Guam from the Japanese in 1944.