I was given this parody by a policeman in Portsmouth (it's a long story)

Sailor, Sailor

Oh sailor, sailor will you marry me?
With your uniform so neat
Oh no, nice girl! I cannot marry you
For I haven't got any teeth!

So off she went to her grandfather's glass
And got him a set that were really first class
An the sailor put them in

Oh sailor, sailor will you marry me?
Do you have to make me beg ?
Oh no, nice girl! I cannot marry you
'cos I've only got one leg

So off she went to her grandfather's table
Where she sawed of a leg so her sailor weren't disabled
And the sailor screwed it in.

Oh sailor, sailor will you marry me?
With your nautical gait so jocular
Oh no, nice girl! I cannot marry you
I've only got one eye. I'm monocular!   (this is a GREAT line!)

So off she went to her grandfather's tin
Found a gurt big marble that she gave to him
And the sailor popped it in.

Oh sailor, sailor will you marry me?
Or am I wasting my time ?
Oh no, nice girl! I think I'll marry you,
'cos I'm feeling rather fine

So off they went to her grandfather's cradle
Where she found that the sailor (seaman) was very, very able

And the sailor put it in!