And why the hell wouldn't someone write a book if they were abducted by a UFO, pdq?

It's certainly more interesting than a lot of other subjects people appear moved to write on... :-)

It is an urban myth that only rednecks get abducted. It sounds good, so people say it. It's not even vaguely true. Matter of fact, it's probably a deliberate story planted by the same government people who make it their business to ridicule anyone whom they want to shut up about such matters. Ridicule is their standard method of attack.