Hey, Hesperis:

The advice that I posted to "newlyweds" was generic. Reading the details of your situation, I'd so that as far as you and your husband are concerned, I'd only encourage you to try to do at least something little to improve your lot, every day. I'm sure the situation seems overwhelming right now, and it's hard to see any quick solutions. Because there aren't any. But, you'll feel better if you take whatever control you can of your lives, no matter how small the actions may be. It would probably help ease the tension between you and your in-laws if they saw you both trying hard to improve your lot.

Jerry