What do you mean he is non-verbal? Just because he's quiet doesn't mean he's non-verbal. Is he an elective mute? Is he a product of learned helplessness? That occurs when everybody caters to your needs to the degree that you can do nothing for yourself.

You say he isn't hyperactive. Maybe he is attention defecit without the hyperactive component. If he has difficulty attending to tasks and can't seem to concentrate, it may be a result of growing up with an autistic sibling. Families can become dysfunctional when dealing with children who are severely disabled. Perhaps you should learn more about autism. The idea of discussing a room change with the autistic brother is out of the question for many, many reasons.

If his brother has autism, there must have been a large degree of routine in the house to accomodate his needs. This should have helped him as well as his brother. Maybe Steve has aspberger's syndrome. Sounds more probable than ADHD. I think counselling for you and your hubby will help you to get to the bottom of the many problems you have presented.

I am still very curious about your calcium allergy. Ragweed I can understand but how did you manage to grow if you are allergic to calcium? Calcium is needed to build bone. I have difficulty digesting calcium but it isn't an allergy. Can you explain this to me?

I can understand how frustrating this is for you. I get frustrated reading about it! Keep searching for answers and don't expect anyone to change to meet your needs. Sounds to me like you're doing all the work in this relationship. How does hubby spend his liesure time?

d