JOHNSON'S MOTORCAR could land you in bother certain places. But perhaps it was O'RAFFERTY'S MOTOR CAR:

Now Dinny O'Rafferty's motor car is the greatest, I declare.
It's made up of bits and pieces that he's picked up here and there.
The engine must be ages old, but it's still got lots of power.
With a gallon of stout in the petrol tank, it does ninety miles an hour.

CHORUS: What a wonderful motor car! It's the finest ever seen.
It used to be black as me father's hat. Now it's forty shades of green.
On TV and the radio and in every public bar,
The burning question of the day is O'Rafferty's motor car.

2. Now two of the wheels are triangular, and the third one's off a pram.
The fourth is the last remaining wheel from off a Dublin tram.
The number plate's in Gaelic, and the plugs won't even spark,
And the chassis came off a tinker's cart that collapsed in Phoenix Park. CHORUS

3. Now go for a ride in that motor car and you'll end up with the shakes.
The road from Cork to Dublin is a vale of pains and aches.
When traffic lights turn red ahead, then you'd best jump out the door,
For the moment Dinny treads on the brakes, his foot goes through the floor. CHORUS

4. Now if you could see the upholstery, then your eyes would start to pop.
It's nothing but empty beer crates with a load of sacks on top.
The windscreen's gone to Lord-knows-where and there's a mothball in the horn,
And I reckon he'd only get half a quid if he took it to the pawn. CHORUS

5. Now Dinny was driving around last week when the engine did the splits.
It went up in smoke and nearly blew O'Connell Street to bits.
They searched for Dinny and found that he'd landed up by heck
Away on top of the GPO with his L-plates round his neck. CHORUS