I was standing in Tim Hortons one night several years ago, waiting for the coffees I was picking up for my work crew, when these two teenaged boys came in and stood right beside me pinting at the doughnut selection and drooling and giggling. They were obviously stoned, as if I couldn't smell it on them at that proximity.
   After a few moments, two cops pulled up and walked in the door. I watch the two kids get the Fear and heard them whispering to themselves, "We're f___ed, man! They know about us!" It was kind of funny to watch, but I decided to try and mellow them out in my own sensitive way...
   I leaned over and whispered, "Hey, you two dumb f___s, what do you think the chances are of any cops randomly dropping into a doughnut shop? Pretty good, usually. Why do you think it's because of you? I think Big Gordie over there just wants a cream-filled, don't you?"
   "Oh yeah, riiiiiight," they started giggling again.
   So I did my good deed for the day and made them feel a little better.




Or it would've been a good deed, if I hadn't swung by the cops on the way out and told them that the two giggly little shits by the counter were stoned outta their gourds and had the Munchies somthing fierce.