Look, I don't care if you're simian and single, why some of my best friends are simian and single, clearly I am an openminded sort, but not everybody is as openminded as me, so the thing to do, Chongo baby, would be to follow the advice of our esteemed former president (who by the way had no trouble at all getting his rocks off from what I can tell) when he said:

DON'T ASK - DON'T TELL.