Just experienced a rather rude phone call from someone unknown to me looking to sell me something I don't want or need, and it got me to thinking.
How do you like to be greeted?
Is "How are you?" meaningful to you?
My youngest used to stand boldfaced with arms spread wide and announce "I'm me!", as an introduction to conversation. She grew up.
When my parents brought me home from the hospital days after I was born, my older siblings announced "We're watching Lassie!"...I was upstaged by a foreign dog.
Lately "What the..." seems to work for folks who see that I'm not the charming handsome gentleman that they had hoped.