there you go PB

JOHN WILLY'S FERRET.

I was there, so were you,
The Mayor and the Vicar and the council too,
All the Lords and Ladies on full view,
The night John Willy took his ferret to a do

Well he jumped upon the table and he landed in the sauce,
He patterned all the table with his dirty little paws.
"Oh!" said the Vicar's wife, "This rabbit isn't dead!"
As he nibbled at the glue around the wig upon her head.

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He ran around her collar, and down her front he tore,
He wriggled down her knicker leg, and danced upon the floor.
"Oh!" said the Vicar, "That's a sewer rat I'm sure!"
"If that's the case," his wife replied, "I wish we had some more."

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He stamped across the lettuce, and he nibbled at the peas,
He dribbled all the gravy down the Mayor's knocky knees.
Then, to quench his ferret thirst, he'd half a pint of shandy,
And he's relieved his little self in Mrs. Riley's brandy.

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He ran up and down the curtains and he swam across the punch,
He herded all the ladies in a corner, in a bunch,
And then to end his escapade, he did a little quickie,
He ran up the Vicar's trouser leg and nibbled at his jacket.

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Well they caught the little bugger and they put him in a box,
They gave him anaesthetic from the Vicar's sweaty sock.
Then finally they got him to the Mayor's car and then,
They took him back as quick as hell to Old John Willy's pen.

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