Actually, MG, the job of condom tester exists but it's not what you think. When my brother was working for Illinois' Vocational Rehab department it was one of the jobs they offered to those who were trying to defraud the system. To do it you put a condom on a nipple which squirts water out at a certain pressure. You do this for eight hours. Sometimes the condoms break and it gets really, really messy. It is a mind-deadening job.

The other job was skull grinder. You don't want to know.

My own job is pretty good -- doing things that help people in an area with a cost of living well below the national average, has pretty fair weather, and is filled with folks who are at least not actively hostile and usually pretty nice. And I get a decent salary and benefits package, too.