Thanks, Freda.

So, GUEST,A man's view, one hopes you never find yourself helpless and dependent upon someone who must care for you. You might just find out what it means to be human.

One thing you and some of the other judgemental ones on this thread don't seem to be taking into consideration is the possibility that Steve thought he could handle the role of loved one to a very sick person, and after making the committment, he found out that he just wasn't up to the job. I've been in relationships with men who thought they were up to the job and found out that they weren't. The bitternenss you see in hesperis' first post is certainly something I have felt myself. What you feel at a time like that is this "why on earth didn't you tell me you couldn't do it before I burned all of my safety bridges and let go of my support system in order to be with you?"

Of course, the answer is that it really isn't possible for anyone to know until they've tried. And because hesperis is as young as she is, she can be forgiven for not having enough experience with relationships to be able to spot the ones who are taking on more than they can handle. Goodness knows it took me long enough to get it figured out.

In my opinion, hesperis is showing an amazing amount of maturity in allowing Steve to readjust his relationship with her to something he is able to handle. And she is doing it lovingly and without judgement or recriminations (first post to this thread notwithstanding... that post was made in a moment of dispair). She's doing a much better job of it than I have done in similar circumstances. Read hesperis' posts to her birthday thread. I think if you could ask Steve, he would tell you that he is very relieved to be able to still be close to hesperis without having to fill a role that he is not ready or able to fill.

Raggytash, you are not helping.