What terrible trauma in childhood has led you to the sad state you are now in, which requires you to seek out cyber-buddies for a "problem" the rest of us have somehow managed to conquer on their own.?
Or is it the cute (non red-and green) address labels the CRM sent you?
What level of support did you sign up at? I understand that at the $100 level they will send you a Santa dartboard? Is this true?