Here is everything I had on this. Surely, some of you will remember it differently and perhaps together we can come up with the whole thing. It's called either:
"T'was the Knight of the King's Castration" or perhaps "The Death of the 69,000"
Counts, no accounts and discounts were flinging camel shit at each other, for in those days bullshit was unknown.
"Balls" said the Queen, "if I had two I'd be King."
The King laughed, not because he had to, but because he had two.
Up strode David on his white stud horse; up strode the King on his diamond studded jock strap.
"Where's the Princess?" asked David. "She's in bed with Diphtheria" said the King. "What! Is that Greek son-of-a-bitch here again?" For his insolence, David was thrown into the lions' den.
Up strode the mangy beast; up strode David and grabbed the lion by his left nut. "Ouch" said the lion. "That tickles." "What tickles?" asked David. "Testicles" said the mangy beast. So they chalked one up for the lion.
For his bravery, David was asked to come forth, but he slipped on a camel turd and came fifth. Shit flew at Random, but Random ducked and Shit hit the King in the face. "Shit!" said the King and the whole nation squatted and groaned.
Again David asked "Where's the Princess?" "Fuck the Princess" roared the King, and 69,000 royal subjects were trampled in the mad rush, for in those days the Kings' word was law. ....Kipling?