THE BILLBOARD SONG
Recorded by Homer and Jethro
Written by Cy Coben and Charles Grean

As I was walking down the street, a billboard caught my eye.
The advertisements written there would make you laugh and cry.
The signs were torn and scattered from the storm the night before,
And as I read the things they said, why, this is what I saw:

"Smoke Coca-Cola cigarettes. Drink Wrigley's spearmint beer.
Ken-L-Ration dog food keeps your wife's complexion clear.
Chew chocolate-covered mothballs. They always satisfy.
Brush your teeth with Lifebuoy Soap and watch the suds go by."

When I recovered from the shock, I went upon my way.
I'd gone no further than a block when there, to my dismay,
Another billboard caught my eye, and like the one before,
The wind and rain had done its work 'cause this is what I saw:

"Oh, take your next vacation in a brand-new Frigidaire.
Learn to play piano in your winter underwear.
And Simonize your baby with a Hershey candy bar.
Texaco's a beauty cream that's used by all the stars.

"Doctors proved that babies shouldn't smoke till they are three.
People over thirty-five, take baths in Lipton's Tea.
You can make this country a better place today.
Just buy a record of this song and throw it fur away."

T-I-D-E, Tide!