ARrrrhh Maties, me thinks Eric O'Red needs to be tied up Hisownself and dunked in The Cold, Cruel Sea whatfor ta relieve his ill mind!

We Pirates have reputations for enthusiastic wenchin' to uphold and in he walks with all this buggery talk. I supose we might jess let 'im have at those dastardly and disgusting Elves but then they might not agree to handle the Proposed Christmas In July Gift-shifts. What's the point of winning the football match if we can't force the Elves at swords point to do the grunt-work fer us, eh?

I for one plan to be working on my Tan and my hangovers in July...not carving toys and stringing beads. I'll get to THAT when it's too cold n'blustery for sailing the high seas and pillaging unsuspecting millonaire yacht enthusiats attempting to solo 'round the world.


Ah, well, ye never knows bout them elves..they might fancy a night in the hold with ol' Eric O'Red! Perverted little galoots they be.

Peg Leg Pierce, Spokes-Pirate & Cochair of the 2004 Get them Elves Committee.