I am always looking for good one-liners. Some that have remained with me for years are as follows.

(For situations in which one is frustrated or POed.) If I had any hair left I'd pull it out.

If you discipline yourself then no one will have to do it for you.

Time is nature's way of making sure everything doesn't happen all at once.

Ignorance is a state of mind located between I don't know and I don't care.

If you decide to add any, I will shamelessly use them. The "Ignorance is a state of mind" one is my own. Welcome to it.