144-pint steel beer barrels, without slots cut in the rim to make lifting handles !

Getting them down into the cellar is a doddle. 1 - The brewery's delivery men do it, and 2 - They lower them down sloping beams using ropes round the middle.

Getting them back up again, however is my job. How am I supposed to do it ? Grip the thing in a bear hug ? I'd need arms like an orang-utan's to do it. Hoist it onto my shoulders ? The cellar ceiling is too low, and the stairs too narrow to allow it. So, I have to somehow pinch the rim between finger and thumb and carry it up the cellar steps that way. Those over-sized barrels weigh over 40 pounds when abolutely empty, and there's usually five or six pints sloshing around in the bottom which the lines can't quite suck up (or are too cloudy to serve).



I've ranted before about pub customers who eagerly try and attract your attention, flapping ten-pound notes in front of your face as you try and serve someone else, and only when when you rush back to them do they look for the first time at the list of ales and spirits on offer and turn to their friends to ask what they all want.