In my Police rugby playing days we used to sing a similar song to the one by JoeF.
Twelve twitching twatties
Eleven languid lesbians
Ten torn off testicles
Nine gnawed of nipples
Eight aching arseholes
Seven suspended vicars
Six sex starved spinsters
Fi----ve foot of crap
Four bog doors
Three whores drawers
Two boy scouts
And my Lord Montague of Beaulieu