I think this probably counts as stupidest answer, but what the hell:

In a pub one night, I asked the barmaid what beer they had. She replied in a strong Aussie accent (nothing personal, she just was, right?) 'Ah, wey've gat Four Ix or Farsters' 'No, I mean real ale, beer'. 'Ahw, there's Wotneys' (well, it may not have been, but it was fizzy and not real ale) 'Oh,' says I, 'well could I have a bottle of barley wine please'.... blank look.... 'Is thet a house red or a Rheisling?' 'Just gimme a bottle of cider........!'

LTS