1. Not the brightest bulb in the pack

Four from a verbal-acrobatics friend of mine who writes a very funny column in a national motorcycle magazine in Oz:

2. S/he's a legend in his/her own lunchtime

3. Cluin said: "It's just a half of an eighth of a sixteenth of an inch off"

Aussie equivalent = A *poofteenth off

* I don't think it is at all related except for the verbal/word-sound humour value but a "poofter" is a homosexual man in Oz.

4. He ends his column with "Copulator" = cop you later = catch/see you later, but is playing on words.

5. He also says: If I want your opinion I'll give it to you.

6. From a desk calendar, a quote I found which always reminds me of the manager I worked for at the time:

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

(It's one of the few sayings I don't make gender-non-specific, because I am referring to that manager who was a man)

7. Grow up, wake up & shut up!

I made that one up in high school and wrote it on the blackboard when the class was acting up. The teacher actually said it was clever when she came into the room. A compliment from a teacher. Wow!

8. My hubby describes big, wobbly breasts - not that he looks at women's breasts of course - as "Like two puppies fighting in a sack"

9. From a Murphy's Law poster:

When in doubt, mumble.
When in trouble, delegate.

10. From an old music hall song:

"It's the same the whole world over.
It's the poor that gets the blame.
It's the rich that gets the pleasure.
Ain't it all a bleeding shame?"


Freda, I like that one about the germs screaming

Helen