All right, y'all – Welcome to the new Tavern!!

Hope y'all like the new decor – The steer them longhorns over the door belonged to was a real good friend of mine and you gentlemen better remove your hats before you belly up to the bar! Now you ladies can belly up there too, but I just want to let you know that them new brass spitoons are NOT for putting gum wrappers in!

Jes' wanna let y'all know too that no jokin' will be tolerated by the management 'bout that brand new nude paintin' behind the bar – Doesn't 'Spaw look good for a man his age? All right, Meixner, I see that laundry marker in your hand – put it back in your back pocket slowly – I said SLOWLY – or else I'll have to reach for the fire extinguisher!

Now for the new menu – it's gonna be downhome cookin' and Tex Mex this week. Hope y'all like chili that'll grow hair on your chest! Yep, that's Aine's Irish Cajun Chili we got cookin' in the back there and don't it smell good! Now jes' don't rile her and ask her the recipe 'cuz she's a pinch cook and don't want to let on that she doesn't know a tablespoon from a spitoon . . .

Before the band starts playin' on the brand new stage we got set up there in corner, the management wants y'all to know that anyone asking for Colorado Koolaid will be summarily tossed out the door. Free Guinness and Harp to anyone that's posted a BS thread in the last seven days and free rum for anyone who's posted to the 'Cat Farts' thread – yep, that's the man hisself, 'Spaw, pouring the rum for ya down at the other end of the bar . . .

So, everybody git yourselves a drank and settle down for the premiere performance of the Cat Farts Theme Song by the Esoteric Feline Gas Band and LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL!!!!