Well Joe, at least we have you loosened up enough to tell us about it and I well remember the days not so long ago when you would never have mentioned it, let alone tell any stories! Truth is Joe that all of us care about you and whatever makes you the most comfortable.....but I'm glad to see that you've fallen a little over in this direction. My condolences of course and my best thoughts for you and your family.

For me, the mourning and celebration march along in lockstep and the years don't seem to change things. I have been truly blessed to have several close "best" friends in my life and some of them are now gone. When Denny died, he had asked me to say a few words at his funeral and I was the last one to speak. I had no notes and simply started by calling him a son of a bitch because the man couldn't even die irresponsibly. I explained to the large crowd that just prior to the service, Jodi (a daughter) had given me an envelope which contained a thank you note from Denny along with a few words of goodbye to me that he had writen some months before. So I said I was going to take this chance to trash that reputation and tell some unknown tales of the real Dennis! I spoke for almost a half hour and as a stand-up routine, I had them "rolling in the aisles." Everyone said how good they felt and the talk afterwards was of "celebrating life." I agreed of course, but down deep I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there and when Karen and I left, I drove a few blocks and down a side street where I pulled over and cried for almost an hour.

The loss I mourned was mine of course but even now, 7 years later, no matter how many wonderful and happy thoughts I have of him, the smiles bring tears.....just as they do now as I type this. Any hole in my heart was then and is now filled with great memories. But along with them comes the sadness I can never shake because I no longer can share this life with him. But somehow that feels right. I can't imagine only happiness. Feeling no sadness cheapens the memory.

Just my 2 cents.

Spaw