Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed someone to identify the body.

So his two best friends, Dermot and Tony, were sent for. Dermot went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Dermot said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over and Dermot looked and said "Nope, it ain't Paddy." The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought Tony to identify the body Tony took a look at him and said "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over. " The mortician rolled him over and Tony looked down and said "No, it ain't Paddy."

The mortician asked "How can you tell?"

Tony said "Well, Paddy had two assholes."

"What? He had two assholes?" said the mortician.

"Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes.

Every time we went into town, folks would say

"Here comes Paddy with them two assholes"