Holy flip, I thought I was gonna die this mornig. Hung over like a dead rat. Everything hurt. It took till about 3 oclokc today till I could look straight at the computer, eh?
Last night was a flippin' blast! Frist of all we were all waitin' fro Don to get home. About 7:00 we heard him drive in. We was all ready with buckets of ice water, open beers, and noisemakers...everybody tryin' not to bust out laughin too soon.
So, Don opens the front door...and we LET FLY! He was really surprised and so was the girl with him! Seems like he found a new girlfriend. They had their hands full of 3 two-fours of beer, eh? Her name is Alice and she is from SErpent River. Whole lotta woman, I am tellin' you! My big brother is a lucky SOB, even if he is goin' bald. Anyway, we nailed 'em both with the ice water, and they both gave such a yell!!! Man, what a scene. Then Alice, she, like, goes totally nuts. She got really mad. I don't know why, cos it WAS his birthday, after all. She drops her two-four and it lands on Don's foot. He gives another yell, but doesn't lose ahold of his 2 cases of beer. NO sir. Alice grabs things and starts throwin' em at us, whatever she can find, and holy FLIP can that girl swear! We was all runnin' around laughin' and dodgin' things and yellin' and squirtin beer froth around by shakin' up warm beers and Alice grabs the lamp and wallops Art with it, and I am nearly dyin' laughin'!
Well, so finally Alice seen the funny side of it too, and she starts laughin' too, and we all sing "Happy Brithday to Youse" like Brucie posted. Then we all sing "Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow". Don's laughin' too and he gets all red.
Then he says, "Hey we gotta get out of these wet clothes, eh?" and he and Alice go upstairs to change. Well, they went inta his room and locked the door, eh? He is one clever bastard. So...15 minutes go by. They won't come out. A half hour goes by. They won't come out. 2 hours go by and we are all gettin' impatient and poundin' on the door, but they won't come out.
So we go outside and get a ladder. Jim lends me his digidal camera and I go up the ladder, hopin' to get a candid shot of the 2 lovebirds in action, eh?
Appearently Don seen me comin' or he heard me comin'. I am just gettin' to the top of the ladder when the window flies open and this FOOT comes out inta my face! I fall off the flippin' ladder. First time I have every been flippin kicked off a flippin ladder. I landed on my back in the snow and flippin near busted it. Jim caught his flippin camera in the air. He was more worried about it than about me, the bolthole!
We all went back inside and started talkin' real loud, like...GEEZ, THE BEER IS ALMOST ALL DRUNK, EH? TOO BAD DON AIN'T GONNA GET ANY BEER ON HIS BIRTHDAY, EH?
They was downstairs in a minute and a half flat. In dry clothes.
That was just the beginning. We played Ozzie Osbourne, Black Sabbath, Spinal Tap, Led Zeppelin, and Motley Crue till 4 in the flippin AM. We drank at least 5 2-4's and who the flip knows what else? It was a night to remember.
I woke up this mornin' and wished I was dead, cos then it wouldn't hurt so much.
What a great birthday, eh?
Alice is still here, and she is makin' fryed bread. I gotta see how it turns out. See ya.