Oh boy! This is gonna be fun... Thanks, pdq. Ahem!

WHAT LIBERALS REALLY WANT:

   Free/Universal Health Care    -   Yes! I do want that, most advanced societies pretty well HAVE that already, and I more or less have it already...in Canada. More or less. Could be improved upon some.

   Ban all firearms - No! I absolutely do not want that, and I oppose such an idea utterly. Dictatorships in the works are the people who ban firearms.

   Ban the Bible because it is "hate speech" - No! I read the Bible, find much good in it, and I oppose banning any book from any religion or philosophy.

   Ban all private vehicles that get less than 40 MPG - Huh? Don't be silly.

   Make male+male homosexual marriages legal/normal - How does one make "normal" what is not the norm, and clearly never will be? :-) I don't give a damn if homosexuals marry one another. That's their business. It doesn't hurt me. I think they should get the same chance to suffer that other people do!

Make female+female (lesbian) marriages legal/normal - Ha! Same answer as the last one...though I find lesbians personally a bit more appealing than male homosexuals. :-)

   Make Social Security death benefits pass to homosexual partners (married or not) - As I am largely ignorant of what those death benefits might be, I am in no position to have an opinion about it, am I? And in any case, I don't care one way or the other.

   Nationalize the oil industry - I don't trust the oil companies. Neither do I trust the government. Accordingly, I have no strong opinion about that one way or the other.

   Nationalize the electricity industry - ditto

   Nationalize the transportation industry - ditto

   Nationalize the gas industry - ditto

   Nationalize the health care industry - I'd be in favour of doing that both ways...private AND governmental.

   Nationalize the auto industry - Nope.

   Nationalize the pharmaceutical industry - Nope.

   Ban Private ownership of radio and television stations - Nope. Just provide a few that ARE publicly owned, so people have an alternative to programming riddled with commercials. I say, you can have 85% privately owned, 15% publicly owned, and NO advertising on the public stations, and some imaginative programming where you can hear something BESIDES top 40. (Try CBC in Canada for that.)

   Make the US subject to decisions of the World Court - Damn right. Every country should be subject to international law.

   Make the US subservient to the United Nations - Nope. Just an equal player in a community of nations, under international law.

   End the two party system and only have "Democrat" on ballot - Ha! Ha! Ha! No...I would like to end the PARTY system, period. That means getting rid of the f**king Democrats as well as the Republicans. They both lie like a rug. Parties and thier big money backers are the main problems standing in the way of honest government.

   Unlimited immigration (6.2 Billion more people are OK) - Now you're really getting silly...

   Give all new immigrants free social services, same as American citizens get - I would give all people in the whole World free social services if I could, believe me. I can't, but I would.

   Give all new immigrants full Social Security benefits - With a sanely operating society worldwide, you would not HAVE an immigration problem in the first place. You think small, pdq, I think big. The whole World is my home, not just the country of my birth.

   End the GI Bill - I know nothing about that. No opinion.

   End Veteran's Hospital System - Same as above.

   End all special care for veterans - I would give special care to anyone who needs it, veterans included.

   Ban all rallies by white and other "non-minority" groups - I'm white. Why would I want to deprive myself of the fun of rallying? (I despise racism and prejudice on the part of certain vocal minority groups.)

   Support gays in the military so that Cpt. Jones and Cpt. Smith
       (both males) can kiss while reviewing the troops - I don't give a damn about that issue. I think it highly unimportant. Mind you, Roman soldiers used to kiss each other on the cheek, and it didn't stop them from conquering most of the known World. Do you really lie awake at night worrying about this kind of crap?

   Ban all CB and Ham radios as possible weapons of right-wing extremists - No. I like the idea of CB and Ham radios. I would encourage more of them. Lots more.

   Ban the Boy Scouts and declare them a "Hate Group" - If you looked at a list of the groups I want to ban, it would probably be the shortest list you ever saw. The Boy Scouts wouldn't be on it. I think the only people I would ban would be groups into human sacrifice, murder for hire, bank robbery, that sort of thing. :-) (stuff that's already totally illegal, and pretty well always has been, in other words!)

   Ban the practice of "loyalty oaths" at all levels of government - That depends on the content of said loyalty oath. I am suspicious of the concept, but it depends on the circumstances and the intent.

   Ban The Ten Commandments from any public display - No.

   Ban Christmas from all public documents - Absolutely No.

   Remove all trace of religion from all government-owned buildings - Definitely no.

   End pledge of allegiance from all schools, public and private - No, just make it voluntary, without bringing undue pressure on those students who don't want to say it.

   Ban all private schools unless they follow exact curriculum of public schools - Absolutely not.

   End home schooling - Absolutely not.

   (this is a partial list...add more if you wish to...)

You are reeling around in a paranoid fantasy, pdq. The liberal boogeyman you imagine is largely a creation of your own mind.

I, however, am not so much a liberal as I am a radical...if you must come up with a convenient (and probably misleading) label.

Please, tell us more of what it is that you think "liberals" believe in... :-)