Down came the Blind
+++++++++++++++++++

Not so long ago, In our bath tub,
We made a Christmas pudding, twas a lovely bit of grub.
While we were stirring it with our yard broom
The neighbours full of jealousy came looking in the room.
They cried "Look there!" pointing with their thumbs,
"Half a ton of duff and not a pennyworth of plums!"

So down came the blind

My father took his slippers off, danced on the duff
While my mother kept the nippers off
Scouting about, a pudding cloth to find,
She couldn't find a pudding cloth

So down came the blind.


Once we had a pitch on Cross Lane fair
We bought a load of cannonballs and covered them with hair,
"Roll or bowl or pitch" you could hear us cry
And, thinking they were coconuts, some fellers had a try.
Well one feller there, he could bowl at them a treat,
He hit my sister Polly, she was holding up the sheet.

So down came the blind.

He thought he had a coconut, hit Polly Jane,
Knocked her bonnet off and broke her nut,
Out came her brain, and a feller just behind
Said "Blimey, that's a milky one!"

And down came the blind.


Angelina Snuff was a fast young cat,
She used to wear some padding 'cos she wasn't very fat,
And here's a secret I must divulge,
She was very flat where ladies like to have a bulge.
One day when she was going to gad about
She couldn't find a bit of rag to pad her bodice out

So down came the blind.

She thought she'd make a pad of it, she was so flat
On her bosom she was glad of it.
"Oh what a bust!" said a feller where she dined,
He tried to stick a rose in it

And down came the blind.

---

Picknose Jim
+++++++++++++

I went to a party so neat and trim,
I quarrelled with a feller named Picknose Jim,
He had a face like a red brick wall
And fists as big as a punching ball.
He sparred up to me and he hit me once,
I landed six weeks later,
With a great big lump on the top of my bonce
As big as a hot potater.

Postpone the battle! Something in my head went BONNNGGGGGG.

One clout, laid out, I didn't want to go no farther,
Well I thought I'd have a try, but I didn't want to die,
Postpone rather.

Both from my Dad's singing, he learned them from HIS dad, who apparently ran away to join the circus aged 11, but was fetched back the next day. Dates approx 1890s-1900s. I've posted them together because the tunes (such as they are) are very similar.

If anyone wants, I'll have a go at the tunes later.