Too late SRS - the punkoid (while you were busy issuing warnings!) snuck round behind the bar. "What can we find here?"

Along the bottles and optics - cask strength whisky, over proof rum...hey, there's a whole party here!

The punkoid sneaks a bottle of the finest over proof into his poacher's pocket, and "borrows" the finest bottle of cask strength Islay single malt. Before the bartender has a chance to see him, he sneaks back out, and heads outside towards the holly tree.

Reaching into his (somewhat emptied) pockets, he pulls out a cigarette lighter. "This'll make peeing more comfortable!" he says, aiming a jet of over proof at the tree...