Lawyer's Christmas card

From me (`the wishor`) to you
(hereinafter called `the wishee`):
Please accept without obligation,
implied or implicit, my best wishes for
an environmentally conscious, socially
responsible, politically correct, low
stress, non addictive, gender neutral
celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, and without limiting the
generality of the foregoing, practised
within the most enjoyable traditions of
the religious persuasions of your choice
or secular practises of your choice with
respect for the religious/secular
traditions of others or their right not
to practise religious or secular
traditions at all and a financially
successful, personally fulfilling and
medically uncomplicated recognition of
the onset of the generally accepted
calendar year 2005, but with the due
respect for the calendars of choice of
other cultures or sects, and having
regard to the race, creed, colour, age,
physical ability, religious faith,
choice of computer platform, or the
dietary choice of the wishee

By accepting this greeting you are bound
by these terms that: This greeting is
subject to further clarification or
withdrawal; this greeting is freely
transferable provided that no alteration
shall be made to the original greeting
and that the propriety rights of the
wishor are acknowledged; this greeting
implies no promise by the wishor to
actually implement any of the wishes;
this greeting may not be enforceable in
certain jurisdictions and/or the
restrictions herein may not be binding
on certain wishees in certain
jurisdictions and is revocable at the
sole discretion of the wishor; this
greeting is warranted to perform as well
as reasonably well may be expected
within the usual applications of good
tidings, for a period of one year or
until the issuance of subsequent holiday
greeting, whichever comes first; the
wishor warrants this greeting only for
the limited replacement of this wish or
issuance of a new wish at the sole
discretion of the wishor; any references
to the Lord, Father Christmas, Our
Saviour, or any other festive figures,
whether actual or fictitious, dead or
alive, shall not imply any endorsement
by or from them in respect to this
greeting; and all propriety rights in
any referenced third-party names and
images are hereby acknowledged.