"For reasons I will explain later I have ten pounds of cream cheese in my freezer."

Not later. NOW!

I don't know. I'm getting over a cold - trying to, anyway. My sinuses are behaving a lot like Cadbury's Creme Eggs, but the filling in those things is runnier. (Yuck - sorry) I just got home from the Great White North (and the traffic jam between Toronto and Cornwall) at 0-tomorrow-thirty last night. Simply thinking about leaving the house again makes me tired. The invention of a matter transporter needs to be made a priority!

I'm gonna get a real big scanner
And scan myself, that's what I'll do
Turn myself into electrons
I'm gonna fax myself to you

A fax is flatter than I am
When I come out, here's what you do
Explain to the police what happened
I tried to fax myself to you.

An e-mailed me might be better
But the attachment will be huge, it's true
I don't have DSL or cable
So I'll just fax myself to you