"Alcohol Warning Labels We SHOULD See"

1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you
to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off
a garbage truck at 100 yards.

2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor
in dancing like a jerk.

3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you
to tell the same boring story over and over again until
your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you
to thay shings like thish.

5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you
to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying
your butt at the office Christmas party.

6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you
to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.

7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering what ever happened to your pants anyway.

8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to
roll over in the morning and see something really scary
(whose species and/or name you can't remember).

9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading
cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the
illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter
than some really, really big guy named "Psycho."

11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe you're invisible (or invincible).

12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to
think people are laughing WITH you.