Fixadent or Polident, Art.

This happened to me in Galway, Ireland. Fortunately, I'd asked the dentist before I left what to do, so I went into a Chemist's and, not knowing what was available in Ireland, asked for "denture adhesive." The lady didn't know what I was talking about, so I said, "Like you use to glue false teeth in place." She said, "Oh, like Polident or Fixadent!"

Dry the place with rolled-up gauze and put the adhesived crown back on it. Bite down for on a roll of gauze (or something like it) for a few minutes, until the adhesive is set.

If you use too much glue it won't hurt you if you swallow it, but it's even neater to fake a cough and spit out a big chunk of it. You can tell people who annoy you it's lung tissue.

If there is pain, take a teaspoon of whisky or vodka and hold it in your mouth at the place where the crown came off. Pour it out of the spoon first, of course. This acts as a short-term topical anesthetic.