Joking aside, if my cat ever needed a bath, I would pay the vet's staff to do it. Some expenses are worth it.

As for cats getting in tar or being doused with detergent - pet cats should be kept inside your house. Cats that go outdoors can get wicked diseases (feline leukemia, feline "HIV", giardia, etc), they can get hit by cars, they get fleas and tapeworms, and they kill precious, dwindling song birds something terrible.

To the person who commented on fleas in bedding, etc - there are new flea preventatives such as Frontline which you apply to the back of the cat's neck every few months. They are wonderful.