Well, pee, he says, and relights it well away from the puddle.

The fuse burns, an inch a minute. It reaches the point where it branches off to other fuses, pauses, and the multitude of fuses lights.

He very quickly walks outside, well away from the lights of the Tavern.

There is a muffled FWOOF! as the explosives ignite, and from the dark that surrounds the Tavern mortars fire pre-planned charges into the night sky, where in a burst of pyrotechnics they explode, and in the cold night air hangs for many minutes a flaming

HAPPY NEW
YEAR!