I've got a good start, Doug. So far, I've discovered that:

1. The Albigensians are behind it all. This is all laid out in the

2. Archivio della Nunziatura Apostolica in Indonesia**
[abbr./abgek.: Arch. Nunz. Indonesia], found in the Secret Archives of the Vatican. (You can request a photocopy -- Vatican City is at www.vatican.va). Note that this deals with Indonesia!

3. The Swiss Guards are acting as the Albigensians' "special forces" in this matter, with the avowed intent of placing Indonesia and the entire Indian Ocean area under the control of Switzerland, because

4. the Swiss government and people are tired of being made the butt of jokes because they have no seaport.

This is as far as I've gotten. I'll keep you posted, if I can manage to dodge the MIBs with Swiss accents who have been seen around here lately.