Pauline, I'd love to hear that song.

Jerry, the line, "It's not what you leave, it's the joy of remembering" pretty much sums up the whole song, so I'm glad you left it in! All the things you talk about, including the songs, bring the people back in memory. Maybe part of it isn't the joy of remembering, but remembering joy. I tend to try to steer my own moods with songs, cheer myself up and remind myself of what I should feel (if the world were perfect), and maybe that's what you were doing. Maybe you were trying to remind yourself that joy was still possible. I remember feeling joy, and I think I may feel it again sometime. Right now, simply remembering it is important, if only to remind myself I'm capable of feeling it.

For me, I think joy is something that you have to share. I can feel happy without anyone else around, or successful, or any number of good things, but I think joy needs other people. I also think it must contain some element of surprise - something you weren't expecting. You can't plan for it or make it happen.